Flip Off


 It’s early, early in the morning. Every living being in the Universe is still asleep, and I crawl into the guest bathroom to begin preparing to stick a cold needle into my tummy – still warm from being cozy in bed. It’s hard enough to do this without caffiene, which I am off of now, but then I see this staring at me from atop my medicine vile:

FLIP OFF

Seriously?? That’s just rude. Why does Ferring Pharmaceuticals do this? Has nobody else ever thought it was odd that their very expensive medicine vial was telling them to go screw themselves? Excuse me, Ferring, but for what I paid for this medicine it should tell me I am a goddess and cook me an omelet. But no. It says “Flip Off.”

You may be thinking that I am being over-sensitive, and you’re right. The first time my Menopur told me to flip off, I laughed. I thought it was funny. But now I am on very strong hormones. I have some suggestions for Ferring. There are plenty of ways to explain to us idiots that we have to actually remove the plastic lid from the vial before we can extract the medicine with a needle. How about Flip Up, Remove, Remove Cap, Flip Cap, Remove Lid, Flip Lid, any combination of remove, cap, and / or lid. Sigh.

So, by tonight I had forgiven the Menopur vial. I have a 7:00 PM date with Follistim so I don’t see Menopur until the next morning, anyway, so all was forgiven. I left a Skype session with my brother and his girlfriend to head into the guest bathroom for my shot. The paper trail I keep showed I had 150 IUs lft in the vial. I had to take 225 IUs. No problem – you dial the pen to 225 and inject – when the pen hits 75, it should stop. It should stop because there are only 150 IUs in the pen, so it cannot possibly give me all 225 IUs. But it did. Very confused, I consulted my husband, and our Skype guests – my brother and his girlfriend – about what this could mean. It was suggested that I may have not taken the full 225 IUs the previous two nights, which I knew could not be. I am very careful when injecting myself in the stomach with highly concentrated doses of hormones. (Some of the hormones are extracted from the urine of post-menopausal women, if that explains my precision.) Doing the math and seeing that there is no way on earth those extra 75 IUs could have been in that shot, I loaded another cartridge and injected a fresh 75 IUs. About an hour later I really felt like something was off, so I called the on call nurse. I told her my story and then she asked me if I remembered her telling me that there are 75 to 100 EXTRA IUs IN EACH CARTRIDGE. My husband and I both agree that we were never told this, so I am still a bit worried that I fried my eggs. She said not to worry, that it’s fine. But, now I feel like I have overdosed my little eggs. I hope I feel better before tomorrow comes and my Menopur tells me to go to Hell at 6:00 am.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. I just wanted to say Thank you for your comment and to let you know that you’re not alone.
    IF is a long strenuous road and you can count on me to be there for you too.
    There’s a rainbow at the end of this road and you’ll find it too.

    Reply

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