Archive for the ‘fun’ Category

Fiddle Dee Dee, I’ll Think about that Tomorow


 

Katie Scarlett O’Hara was a bratty little snit.

It’s not her fault. She was written that way.

A few nights ago my husband was working an event late and was not expected to come home, sleepy-eyed, until past 1 am. As I began to feel a mega-early bedtime beckoning me, I saw that “Gone with the Wind” was coming on. Having seen it numerous times, but never in chronological order,I decided to partake. So I set the DVR to record it as it began, because I knew I would make it just shy of the amputation scene before I pooped out. I hate that scene. It really freaked me out as a child, and I was all too glad to have a stopping place for the night.

The next day, as I came in and dropped all my bags on the dining room table, I decided to pick up where I left off. I got to revel in Butterfly McQueen exclaiming that she “don’t know nothing about birthing babies!” Always loved that scene. It’s just so fun to watch Vivien Leigh playing Scarlett, and even better when she gets mad! On this day, however, my Rhett Butler (sans the dashing hat) came home, so I put the old South to bed. (Wish some of these old politicals would do the same thing. But that’s a whole other post.)

So, day three. Sherman has burned Atlanta, Scarlett still looks 16, and the dress made from green velvet curtains has seen the light of the day. Today I pick up at the scene where the men-folk come home, feigning drunkenness to fool the lawman. They had to make sure no one found out that they went to rough up some 1800’s gangster who had been looking to take Miss Scarlett’s “parasol” without permission. (“Parasol” means vajayjay in 19th century speak, by the way. Watch it again, I’m not being nasty, it’s true. It was 1939, after all. Today it would of have been a horrible scene, I’m sure. I prefer the 1939 scene. After all, I actually just used the word “vajayjay” in my blog.)

Soon after, Mellie and Bonnie had gone and died, and Rhett told Miss Fancy Pants that he didn’t give a damn what she did, or with whom. Rhett is really famous for that last zinger he threw to her, but I actually got much more amusement from Scarlett stating that, whatsoever may be unpleasant, “that she would just think about it tomorrow”, or “another day.” My personal favorite is the vague yet decidedly firm, “I’ll think about it some other time.”  Mind you, this is a woman whose problems consist of her city being burned down, her family plantation being demolished, her mother gone, her father acting really, super crazy, the man she loves married to the nicest gal in town, she has none

"The Yankees are after me lucky charms!"

but a carrot to eat, and she is forced to wear curtains to beg for money from a man in jail. Oh, sure, she is bratty and bitchy and all that jazz – but she inspired me tonight! Because after I was done watching the epic unfold, my own (albeit much less serious) was beginning. My unbalanced washing machine was tripping the light fantastic across the laundry room floor. My reproductive clinic sent me a bill for $450 of which I owe nothing, and I found out I have to stop one of my very regular medications in preparing for the embryo transfer. I had to wash towels, walk the dog, think about bills…..I was kind of bitchy myself, and almost started to whine a bit about it all……and then, in the midst of getting my petticoat in a bunch, KSO’s pretty little face appeared before me:

“Just deal with it tomorrow!”

Wow! Procrastination is so much better when you use don’t call it procrastination, ladies! Yes, by sweetly telling yourself you will deal with it tomorrow, you also can feel like you just removed the weight of the world from your shoulders! Like getting an extra half hour of sleep! An excuse to not vacuum! I mean, it won’t give you a 17 and a half inch waist or a sassy name like “Scarlett,” but you can just give yourself one more extra day to get back into your own little melodrama.

So, here’s to Scarlett! Thanks for making me just a little less of a responsible grown woman today.  

"No problem, Sugar!"

 

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Beeker on the Brain


   

It’s almost 1:00 on a Saturday. The day to get stuff done, buy stuff, clean stuff, and complete stuff. So far all I have done is show the unannounced roofer where the leaks were in my ceiling. In my pajamas. Lucky him.  

"My first job today, the girl answered the door in her pajamas! Doh!"

I have seriously wasted half of my day looking for a physical copy of a book on writing training materials. I want it NOW. I have a project that I am working on for work, and although I have a plan and have started research, I thought it would be nice to have a guide. With the exception of ordering online, I cannot find a book ANYWHERE on writing training manuals, writing course materials, etc? The books in the stores get as specific as how to negotiate buying a car at 2:34 in the afternoon on a Tuesday, but they snub the person trying to develop something as common as a textbook or course material. It makes about as much sense as Homer and his pal drinking beer while on a roof. ( I did that once, on my 21st birthday. It ended in injury.)  

I also turned my Lupron alarm off this morning and went back to bed, which means I missed my shot and ended up taking it a few hours late. Is this OK? I was in such a hurry then that I injected it cold, sans the time it usually takes to warm up to room temp out of the fridge. I waited for the possible seizure or anaphylactic shock, but thankfully nothing happened! I’m a mess today. I feel like between starting a new job (which I love) and trying to prepare my uterus for a new tenant, that I end up wasting any time in which I am not required to be working or in stirrups. Here are some ways in which I wasted my spare (not that there was an excess of it) time this week:  

  • I killed a few brain cells by actually watching Jerseylicious. If this is not the most monumental waste of a production crew then I am loath to see what comes out next.    

    Tacky is as Tacky Does

  •  I made homemade ice cream even though I did not have any heavy whipping cream. Beeker from The Muppets would have even been appalled.
  •  I spent an hour looking for a type of book at Barnes and Noble that I knew they did not have.
  •  I read the nasty comments that people wrote online about my past employer on www.jobvent.com. (No, I did not contribute, but it sure was fun!)
  •  I sat in my car outside my house to finish listening to an NPR interview
  •  I spent over an hour trying on clothes for my first day of work and ended up wearing the first thing I picked out

And then there is this post. See, I have been thinking about an interesting phenomenon that I discussed with my friends at their cafe the other day. WHY do we get so much done on the days when we have work, school, errands, etc, but then we do not get anything of merit accomplished when we actually have a day to ourselves? I had some really lofty plans set aside for today and instead I found myself searching Google Images  for a picture of Beeker. (I found a plethora, BTW)   

I am actually kind of miffed at myself because I cannot afford to do this. I can’t afford to miss my shot in the morning. I mean, this is important. Anyone who has gone through IVF knows that you have to stay organized and on top of your game. You can’t watch bitches in hooker shoes battling over whose jungle party was junglier, and you can’t have Beeker on the brain. Does this mean I am just getting used to being on a fertility regiment since it has been so long? I used to have my protocol taped to the fridge and emblazoned on my brain. And it has to be that way, because it is a time consumptive and precise process. What will I be like on the weekends once my baby is actually here? I have waited for him / her so long that I may end up just holding them and starting at them all day in pure bliss that they are finally here.  So, having expressed this sentiment, I now have to go organize my IVF binder, do some research for my course so it kicks ass, and stop wasting your time with a pointless blog post.  

Have a SAFE and PRODUCTIVE Labor Day weekend!  

Peace and Love,  

S  

  

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